Sunday, December 21, 2008
I don’t care anymore. I don’t want to know whether it will happen or not. If tomorrow never comes, I would still be happy.
I want to stand firm, but sometimes… the wind just won’t stop blowing.
When is the right time to give up? When is the right time to hold on? When do you know it is right?
Broken relationships. Will they ever be fixed?
I wish I didn’t grow up. I wish I had forever been a toddler. You can just cry when you get frustrated. And won’t even care if you ever get what you cried for or not.
I wish I didn’t have to think and weigh things. I wish everything will just flow without me having to decide.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
2 years ago I told myself that I will not let my 24th birthday go without joining a beauty pageant. Usually, 24 is the age limit of beauty contests. I had long forgotten this dream of mine until I chanced upon a website about petite beauty titlists. I read through the page and found out that the contest is open for applicants 18 to 29 years old. Can you believe that? Of course I emailed. I don’t know the answer yet but let’s see how it will go.
Keep you posted!
Monday, December 8, 2008
I don’t think Sean will ever read this blog so I’ll go talk about him again. He hated this classmate of his named Na Young because she kept on telling the whole world that Sean likes her. Sean was really pissed off and wouldn’t talk to her since. He would avoid her and show Na Young that he hates her. I told Sean to forgive Na Young and you can imagine this boy yelling “NO WAY! I HATE HER!”
In my heart, I know that God was speaking to me. Sean and I are in the same page. I also hate a woman I used to consider a close friend. I haven’t forgiven her since that day she arrogantly dismissed my sweet smile. I wish it was so easy to forgive her for being so abusive with her words but it is just not that easy. I hate her so bad. I can’t even afford to look at her face for more that 5 seconds. I want to vomit. God always reminds me of how He had forgiven me of the horrible things that I have done. But… I don’t know, I just don’t know how to forgive her. No matter how many times I read any verse about forgiveness, I just can’t stand forgiving her.
And him… I thought I had forgiven him. I still think of him as an ass. I can’t forgive what he has done to me. Whenever I think of him... I imagine a scene where I would slap his face till it gets as red as strawberry. (That’s mean!)
Imprisoned. Unhappy. Frustrated.
I was touched by the story Sean told me yesterday. They got this homework about heroes. Find your hero and make a paragraph or two about this person and report it to class. Sean chose a Korean guy who invented the Korean alphabet. Billy, his classmate, chose Jesus. How sweet. Sean said Billy was even teary eyed while he was talking about ‘his’ hero.
Is He your hero too?
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Friday. It was jam packed. We had our team building after the shift until late at night. I had to leave early coz james’ mom was in the hospital. We went to visit her there. She’s fine now.
Saturday. It’s melai’s wedding. Huwat? Is she really getting married? Well, she is. Congrats Obet and Melai! Alagaan mo si toyo ah! Heheh.. I love you melai!
Sunday. Finally! Alex and I were able to meet after almost 3 months! Our schedule just doesn’t meet! Then, I went Christmas shopping. It was almost done. A few people left in my list.
I’m happy it’s Monday, except the fact that I have to wake up early again for the next 5 days!
Tuesday, December 2, 2008